You Could've Said
by lunarocks14
Summary: "I guess it fits, that I fell for you. After all, we both have flower names." Rose/OC. Femslash. Warnings: depression and self-harm. Please don't read if it'll trigger you.


**A/N: Rose's POV, in case you couldn't guess. Have fun reading.**

**DISCLAIMER: See this word? Yup, that mean I don't own any of the characters in this fiction, apart from Saffron.**

I guess it fits, that I fell for you. After all, we both have flower names. And it's how we bonded. Standing in line, waiting to be Sorted. Introducing ourselves. Saffron and Rose.

I've always thought your name is beautiful. Scrap that, I've always thought _you_ are beautiful. Amazing green eyes, gorgeous black hair, and your figure? Wow.

You were astonished to be in Gryffindor, and I was astonished at my luck. We became friends instantly, best friends. But it wasn't until fourth year that I realised I felt something beyond friendship for you.

The shock – I, a Weasley, like girls. And I only realised the day we we swimming together, you, Al, Scorp and I, and all I could do was stare at you as you laughed and flicked water at Al.

You two were always slightly flirtatious, oh yes. It hurt me, I suppose. I was glad when he started developing feelings for your sister and started spending most of his free time with her. I don't only like girls, though. Hell, I had a crush on Scorp at one point! That's why it kind of hurt when he started dating Lily. But they're so happy and sweet together, you can't hate them.

No, it only hurt slightly, and only for a bit. But with you? A hundred, a thousand, a million times worse. I'm in love with you, and you're dating my brother.

Ah, Hugo. I can't hate him, but I can't fully love him, either. Especially not right now, waiting for you to return from your date with him and hoping he hasn't screwed you over too badly. Waiting for you to come back, cry, tell me it's over between you and him and you'll never fall for his act again...

Only to run back into his arms next time he winks at you. He's a user, a player. Oh, Saffron, please realise it. Hugo loves no-one but himself. He used Maria yesterday, Alexa the day before. Tomorrow, who knows?

Not you, Saffron. You refuse to "go all the way" don't you? That's the only reason you've had more than one date with him. Shag them and dump them, that's Hugo. A new girl every week, although he uses some again and again. But that's different. They're slags, whores, sluts, bitches. They know it and are proud. But you, my innocent Saffron. Oh, how I wish I could use "my Saffron" and not know that it's an empty word.

I can hear footsteps. For a moment I think it's you, then I change my mind. Your step is lighter.

I'm right. It's Hugo. He walks past me without a second glance, him and his "gorgeous" brown eyes and "sexy" reddish-brown hair. So confident, self-assured.

And me, sitting on the sofa in front of the fire. "Where is she?" I ask, voice rough, from misuse and anxiety, worry and misery.

"God knows." Is his response.

I get up, face him. Fiery redhead? Check. I'll do anything for a friend, especially you. "Where is she, Hugo?" My tone holds a warning note.

"God, she's in the Forest!" You could've said! "Fuck, Rose, it's like you're in love with her or something!" He shouts as I run for the portrait hole. How right you are, dear brother.

I literally sprint for the Entrance Hall, trying to be as quiet as possible, not that any teacher could stop me now. The Forest? The selfish, blind, stupid jerk. How can you love him?

The moon's bright. Ironic, isn't it, for such a dark night.

You're below our favourite tree, of course you are. Knees drawn up to your chin, tears streaking your face, left wrist cradled to your chest. The moonlight glitters on the red liquid that trickles down your arm.

"Saffron," I whisper, sinking to my knees and touching your face gently. You flinch.

"I'm sorry, Rosie. I broke my promise again."

Yes, you self harmed again. Shh, don't fall, I'll be here to catch you.

"Saffron..."

"Sorry, Rosie. I can't deal with life. Sorry." You're so strong but you've changed so much. Two months, and the crazy, wild, fierce, sarcastic, wonderful, loving, _beautiful _you is gone, replaced by a version of you that's either always nervous and doting or depressed and moping.

"Saffron, shh. Sweetie, it's gonna be okay." You look at me, beautiful eyes haunted. "I love you," I tell you, moving to sit next to you, cuddling you, letting you rest your head on my shoulder as I put my arm around you.

"Full moon." I whisper.

You look up, howl. The sound is eerie. You always did an amazing impression of a werewolf. You howl again, louder, and it echoes.

Wait a moment, that's no echo.

A werewolf steps out of the trees in front of us. No! Saffron! We shoot anguished looks at each other. Well, mine's anguished, yours is somewhere between fear and laughter. What a time to want to laugh, Saffron.

We stand up together, my arm still around you. The werewolf steps forward and snarls.

But then you start laughing, and I wonder if you're been holding back on me, if you're suicidal. I know you don't have your wand. I don't have mine, either. Not that it would be any help.

You continue to laugh, louder, almost hysterical, and the werewolf explodes, sort of. Disappears in sparkles of silver.

"A Boggart," I choke out, and you giggle.

"Oh, Rosie, I thought we were finished. Then I realised that it couldn't be a werewolf – full moon is tomorrow, not tonight, silly."

Thank God you know such odd facts, Saffron. I couldn't lose you. "Oh, my God, Saff, you could've said!"

We burst out laughing together. Your eyes are shining, you're happy for once.

"Why a werewolf?" I wonder aloud.

"Because I'm most afraid of losing you." Your quiet reply shocks me, Saffron.

"You – why – me – why not Hugo?" My thoughts are in disarray.

"I love you, Rosie." You whisper softly, eyes afraid and shy. "Hugo... He's a distraction."

You love me?

"You could've said," I whisper, and you laugh lightly, eyes still anxious. "I love you too." I say, and we both _know _we don't mean friendship love, well, not just friendship, cos we'll always be friends.

You lean forward hesitantly, rest your forehead against mine. I rest a hand against your cheek, then kiss you.

You taste like strawberries and mint and Butterbeer and love, and it's the best combination and probably the best kiss in the world, at least that's what I think until we kiss again, sure of the others' reaction this time and pressing ourselves together, and we're in love and I love you and you love me and I think my brain just fried. Saffron.

You'll be my last thought before I fall asleep.

**A/N: I am well aware that it's improbable a Boggart would be wandering Hogwarts grounds at night. I was sleep deprived when I wrote this. Pretty please review and tell me what you think?**

**(Also, if you have any challenges/pairings you'd like me to write, PM or say in a review. I need a new idea. Thanks.)**


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